Thursday, December 1, 2011

The English Boy and How it all Went Wrong

I came to Karlsruhe to visit my best friend from Canada and the English Boy who I thought was crazy for me tagged along. He had literally swept me off my feet right from my arrival to the airport. Little did I know the enthusiasm of our first few days together would wear off and so quickly. I guess the Tracy expiry date is a lot shorter than I thought? I was baffled how someone could be so happy and excited to see and be with me in London then as soon as we stepped off the plane into Germany it was a whole other story. I was ignored; everything I said was criticized and argued with. I felt like a complete idiot trying to get his attention. I watched my Euros I spent on the B and B go down the toilet along with my dignity. I am a strong independent traveller, a free spirit, a gypsy. I leave hearts broken in my wake as I venture across the lands but there I was trying to please him. I couldn’t help it though he fuelled my desire and I jumped into the fire head first arms flailing.

I wasn’t staying in England forever so what was the problem? No pressure, no string attached just fun and lovin and well if something happened then something happened. In Colombia we had endless chats lying in a hammock but now I had to drag conversation out of him. We kept in contact and talked on Skype with no problem but now in the flesh in Germany I felt like he was slipping away like sand through my fingers. What happened to the fun, free spirited person I had met in South America?

I am beginning to realize people are different when they travel but the thing is I really don’t think I am. For me this is my life, this is my lifestyle, I am not on a round the world bender. I am not more outgoing; I don’t party more or drink more. I don’t do drugs just because it’s “Colombia”. I admit I may date more men on my travels but do you know where I am from? Could you picture me in a pick-up truck? I didn’t think so. To me traveling isn’t vacation, it isn’t an all inclusive, it’s my life and my most transcendental work. I don’t act crazy and wild and do whatever I want because I think this is a once in a lifetime experience. To me everything is a once in a life time experience.

I have met up with a few people in Canada who I met traveling but this time around I have really noticed people are different but this isn’t a bad thing. People sometimes go away to try new things, find themselves, be someone else, let loose and lose control. Travel to some people is an escape and then I they all eventually come back to reality where they work, live in tiny flats, are in relationships and don’t even know where the closet pub is. They give in to the mundane.

Maybe they are the smart ones, maybe I am avoiding reality but maybe I just have a different reality where I take chances, I talk to strangers, I dine alone in a restaurant, I do everything to not live in a bubble because no matter where I am, in my hick hometown in Canada, in South America, Europe, Montreal, the world is amazing and everyone has a story.

I really didn’t understand this English boy’s problem but he probably didn’t understand either. Again I think it’s a traveller thing, I found it quite easy to read my tarot cards to travellers usually they were quite confused and in a crossroads in life. Well call me stupid but I thought I would take a chance. I was disheartened but I was in Germany after all and he shipped back to the UK......

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