The Loved up Couple

"You know, some of us will never, ever find true love, like, take for instance… me. And I’m pretty sure that guy right over there. And the lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine."

My English boy bubble was popped but things were briefly looking up again. I was with Gisela remembering life in Mexico and was enjoying the Germans but then I took off to meet the friend I was visiting in Karlsruhe but this time in Strasbourg where I was to meet her new Boyfriend. He was a German/French/Belgium mixture that she met in Australia. She knows I haven’t really liked any guy that she has been with but I had an open mind and she seemed crazy about him.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the lovey dovey loved up couple that I had to deal with for the weekend. I should have known from the wall posts I have seen on facebook but I figured perhaps that was because they were doing a long distance thing and felt the need to constantly profess their love for each other for the whole facebook world to see. I can understand people can be a bit insecure when their lover is on another continent so why not put hearts on his facebook wall and mushy barf worthy comments to keep the bitches away. It didn’t end there though unfortunately life isn’t a plane ride equiped with a barf bag so I had to endure it.

I really couldn’t bring myself to like him, in the beginning, Jokes and humour didn’t translate too well so we couldn’t have a good laugh together, plus his lips were attached to her. Every two seconds I heard smack, smack, smack, the sound of him kissing her cheek, her head, and her lips. It was constant. How could I take him seriously if I couldn’t have a conversation with him without hearing that sound? It was the soundtrack to our tram rides never ending face sucking sound. It hit an all time peak when they were feeding each other at the Mongolian grill restaurant; I looked on in utter shock. Could they not get their own plates? Could they not put their own forks in their own mouths?

They no longer have separate possessions. It was their plate, their dinner, their dessert. Her IPod was no longer hers it was theirs, their money, their apartment, their seat on the tram. There were clearly enough empty seats on the tram but she sat on his lap! It was doing my head in.

Ok sure I may be a bit cynical especially after my romance turned into a nightmare but this was ridiculous! I pictured myself banging my head off the hot grill in front of me.

I wanted to like him, I really did but I felt like I couldn’t I wasn’t getting to know him, all I could see was the loved up couple monster that they morphed into. They weren’t two people, they were one. If they were famous the tabloids were give them a super couple name like Bennifer or Brangelina, Perhaps Nicodice or Canlai.

I think it took alcohol to help me warm up to him; alcohol has a way of bringing people together. he let her wrap him in toilet paper like a mummy to dress him up for Halloween. He got right into it and didn’t even complain- brownie points for that. The fact that he wanted to go to a night club with his girlfriend was also good, a lot of couples do get very boring and tend to fall off the social scene because they are “in love” and don’t need to go out and party. He didn’t stray away from the nasty 99 euro cent swamp mix they were selling at the club and he was cool with her hanging out with me.

He truly loves her with his whole being and I am pretty sure it isn’t all just a show. He really does care for her and he treats her well. She seems incredible happy and that’s all you can really ask for isn’t it? So eventually the baby talk, the cutesy faces and the endless kissing in public will ware off (let’s hope the hell it does!) but it doesn’t seem like the love, support, caring and kindness for my best friend will (Let’s hope to hell it doesn’t).

So equiped with my barf bag I give him my seal of approval but in the end they do not need anyones approval just do what makes you feel happy and if that means making me barf then so be it!